A Good Day For Neji
by recodan
Summary: He wakes up feeling bad. Then he does something evil.


Neji woke up pissed.

For no reason.

But come on. He was a Hyuuga. Misplaced anger went hand in hand with the forehead swastika and obsession with the color white.

" Mmph." he grumbled, rolling out of bed. He was, for once, looking forward to practice. Beating up Lee for a while sounded fun. Plus, ogling Tenten with the Byakugan was always fun.

Unless Lee and Guy were nearby. That sucked.

Especially when Guy was doing jumping jacks.

Dressing in the clan uniform, he walked into the hall of the Hyuuga manor, feeling hungry. He had almost turned to that he could walk to the dining hall when a certain heiress, who was not watching where she was going, rammed into him. Neji was bowled over by his cousin and fell to the ground, something orange and smelly covering his face.

" Neji!" cried Hinata in terror. " I didn't see you!"

" I assumed that." said Neji, not moving. " First, get off me."

Hinata immediately leapt to her feet.

" Second, what is this?" he asked, sitting up and taking….a pair of orange boxers off of his face. Hinata looked terrified and began to blush. " You broke into Naruto's house again, didn't you?"

Hinata nodded ashamedly.

" Lady Hinata, this needs to stop." Neji said, handing the boxers to Hinata. She clutched them to her as if they were some sort of treasure.

" Don't tell father. Please." Hinata pleaded. Neji sighed.

" I won't." he said defeatedly, standing up. Hinata gave him a thankful look and ran off towards her hidden treasury. It was hard to find a place to hide things in the Hyuuga manor, so she had made Neji build her a secret room lined with lead so that the Byakugan couldn't see through.

It had turned into a shrine of purloined belongings.

It made Neji sick.

But, what could he do. If he told her father, he'd be in trouble for disobeying her command. And it wasn't like Naruto was ever going to notice.

Light Bulb.

_Hinata-sama said don't tell her father._ thought Neji. _But Naruto is fair game._

Neji, suffice to say, received many odd looks at breakfast while he ate his cereal and giggles insidiously.

-----

" Hey, Sasuke." said Neji, walking onto a small bridge where the Uchiha and the pink haired girl were standing. " Have you seen Naruto?"

" Why?" asked Sasuke, not looking towards him.

" I have some information for him." said Neji, cackling. Sasuke and Sakura gave the usually stoic Neji odd looks.

" What is it?" asked Sasuke, a hint of curiousty on his voice.

" Has he ever mentioned things going missing?" asked Neji.

" Yeah. He's had to buy new clothes like every week because things get stolen." said Sakura. " Do you know who's doing it?"

" Maybe." said Neji, teetering on his feet.

" Is it you?" asked Sakura, sounding disgusted.

" Heh. No." said Neji.

" Hey!" said Naruto, running up. " What's 'Destiny Boy' doing here?"

" Apparently, he knows whats happened to all your stuff." said Sasuke, leaning against the bridge.

" Really?" asked Naruto, looking hopeful.

" Yep." said Neji, smiling. " Follow me."

----

" What is he doing here?" asked Hiashi as Neji led Naruto though the Hyuuga manor.

" He's showing me something." said Naruto innocently.

" What?" asked Hiashi cautiously.

" I can't tell you, Lord Hiashi." said Neji gloatingly. " But you are free to follow."

Their interests piqued, the Hyuuga clan began to follow the bewildered blonde, the curious lord, and the whiny kid from the branch family. He led them to a blank section of wall and tapped a brick, which to their surprise caused the wall to pull back and reveal stairs going down.

" What is this?" asked Hiashi angrily. Neji just pointed down the stairs. Fuming, Hiashi stomped downstairs, Naruto following behind him, more confused than he had been.

" This is it." said Neji when they came to a large lead door. " Anyone squeamish should look away."

" Get on with it." growled Hiashi. Neji smiled and swung the door open, revealing Hinata.

And a number of glass cases.

Full of things like empty ramen cups, stolen underwear, goggles, strands of hair, a tissue, and what looked suspiciously like a entire bedroom.

" Hey, there you are!" said Naruto, walking over to a display case with a kunai in it. Hinata stood still, gasping in shock, as the Hyuuga looked at her collection. " I thought I lost this one! And there's my underwear!" said Naruto, walking to the newest case. " These went missing this morning!"

" Neeeejjjjjiiiii….." Hinata exhaled, barely able to talk.

" My socks!" said Naruto, looking though several rows. " I remember that scab! And my old bed! And my second apartments wall! And my old landlord's cat! Hinata, you found all this stuff?"

" I-I-I-I-I-I-I…."

" Thanks! I've lost this stuff ages ago!"

The entire Hyuuga clan face palmed at the same time.

------

" Noooooo!" sobbed Hinata, clinging to her fathers waist and trying to hold him back. He was carrying a basket full of Naruto's pants upstairs.

" Hinata, it's for your own good." said her father.

" But it's mine! Its all mine!" she cried.

" I think therapy is in order." said Hiashi,

" Thanks for keeping all this stuff, Hinata!" said Naruto, walking back down stairs. Neji rolled his eyes. Naruto just couldn't understand this stuff was stolen. " I wish I cold thank you somehow. I know!" Naruto's eyes lit up. " Hey, come here for a second."

Hinata stood up and walked over instantly.

" Thanks!" Naruto said, just before kissing her on the cheek.

She blushed beet red for a moment, then exploded.

"…." Hiashi was left speechless as he wiped a bit of his daughter out of his eyes.

" I think a mop is in order." said Neji before laughing out loud.

----

The next day, Neji woke up feeling good.

Hinata had been fixed by Tsunade ( put the remains in a bucket, shake well, apply chakra) and was finally getting help. Naruto was enjoying having clothes again. The main house was forever embarrassed.

Plus, he was looking forward to beating up Lee.


End file.
